| The word no can seem to be one of the hardest for | | | | self-esteem. |
| us to voice out sometimes, yet it is such a small | | | | Practising makes for perfection. If you find it hard to |
| word. Many people avoid a misunderstanding by | | | | say no, it is better to practise using the word as |
| avoiding the word no, and this can create a huge | | | | often as you would like to. Like learning a new |
| tension in relationships, even in marriages. A woman I | | | | language, you must say it to yourself over and again |
| know almost lost her marriage because her husband | | | | when there is no one around. Get used to saying it, |
| enjoyed touching her face fondly. Although she hated | | | | just for the fun of it in your own time. See the |
| the action, she didn't know how to say no. He, in | | | | person in your mind's eye. Visualise yourself saying no |
| turn, felt that she enjoyed it, and always did so, at | | | | to them. Practice it over again. If it is someone you |
| every opportunity. In fact, he had asked her a | | | | love or respect, you may follow it up with a reason |
| number of times if she liked it, and she said yes, not | | | | starting with "because...". Keep your reason very |
| wanting to hurt his feelings. Negative emotions which | | | | short. |
| built up, boiled over one day, and she voiced it out | | | | Generally, people are selfish, and will think of |
| rashly, as one of her complaints. Of course, he was | | | | themselves first, or only of their own benefit. If they |
| shocked. | | | | care about you, they will take your wish on board. |
| Many people say yes, when what they really wish to | | | | Once people have got used to hearing you say yes, |
| say is no. If you are one of these people, then you | | | | (even if it will kill you), they will be shocked (at first) |
| are not saying what you really mean. This will always | | | | to hear you say no. But, believe this, they will soon |
| affect your feelings of self-respect. If you like | | | | get used to it. The first time you say no, it might |
| something that someone has done, or is offering, | | | | feel a bit strange, maybe even scary. Don't apologize |
| you should say yes, when asked. If on the other | | | | after you have said it. In fact, once you have said it, |
| hand, you don't like what is on offer or what is being | | | | it is more interesting when you add "I said..." - in front |
| done to you, you must say no. To say the least, | | | | of it, by saying - "I said no". |
| saying yes when you mean no is unfair to the other | | | | Wait for the opportunity to say no. Then, secretly |
| person, and sends confusing signals. We all struggle | | | | congratulate yourself. The next time, it will be easier. |
| with this little word. We then find ourselves doing all | | | | Whenever you feel victimized, you may feel low in |
| sorts of things that we don't really want to do. If we | | | | self esteem. Look for the next opportunity to say no |
| do not say no when we should we will end up doing | | | | when you really want to, and you will feel |
| things in annoyance and develop emotions of | | | | empowered and quite happy with yourself. It really is |
| resentment. This almost always leads to reduced | | | | alright to say no when you want to. |