| After the boxes are unpacked, the phone is set up, | | | | wanted time away from them. There's an interesting |
| and you've sorted out all the other necessities, you | | | | discovery I made with several people I spoke to. |
| may find yourself depressed after a move to a new | | | | When they really thought about why they were |
| place. The hardest part of this is that often times, | | | | depressed, they realized that admitting they were |
| you don't even realize you're depressed. You're so | | | | happy after moving, made them feel they would |
| focused on all you have to get done, that when that | | | | have to give up the friends they had back home or |
| initial whirlwind passes, you may end up sitting down | | | | dramatically change those friendships. They were so |
| to relax, only to find that several months have gone | | | | used to contacting these friends in moments of |
| by and you're in a rut. If you're the trailing spouse, | | | | misery, that they were afraid their happiness might |
| and have no job lined up, this is something you | | | | mean less contact with friends back home, and |
| especially need to watch for. | | | | possibly not being as close to them. |
| What can end up happening is that you mourn the | | | | If you truly cannot get yourself out of this rut, you |
| life you left behind - the great friends and family you | | | | should make a commitment to see a therapist to at |
| have, perhaps a job you loved. And, you may not | | | | least find some ways to manage the depression so |
| realize this process is going on, because your | | | | you can begin to come out of it. |
| conscious mind keeps saying, "I'm in Sydney, I should | | | | The good news is that there are several techniques |
| be excited. I just have to try harder." | | | | you can use to avoid the depression from starting, or |
| One of the dangers of not preparing for possible | | | | to get yourself out of a rut if you're already there, |
| depression is that, when you first arrive someplace | | | | provided you are willing to move forward and allow |
| new, it's like being on vacation. In fact, if you're | | | | yourself to be happy. |
| moving someplace that excites you, you may be so | | | | The best thing you can do is adopt some strategies, |
| caught up in this excitement, that you will convince | | | | before you leave, to try and prevent depression |
| yourself of how perfect everything there will be. | | | | from setting in at all. |
| You'll look forward to a change of pace. When you | | | | Make contacts before you leave. You can do this by |
| arrive, it's like starting a new relationship - everything | | | | asking your current friends and family to refer you to |
| is new, different, and offers the opportunity for | | | | contacts they have, and put the word out that you'd |
| discovery. Once your mind wraps around the fact | | | | love some names and numbers of friends they have |
| that you'll be staying there for a while, however, the | | | | living in the host city you're relocating to. |
| romance tends to wear off, and leave you shocked, | | | | Reach out to your new-found contacts immediately. |
| and feeling a little trapped. | | | | Instead of waiting till after you arrive, make that |
| Here are some signs to look out for that could mean | | | | phone call, or send that email NOW. Let them know |
| you're depressed: | | | | who referred you to them, and that you'll be moving |
| - You find yourself sleeping a lot - if you normally | | | | out their way soon, and you'd love to make plans to |
| sleep 6 - 8 hours and find that you're suddenly | | | | meet them after you arrive. |
| sleeping 12 or more hours, especially during the | | | | Research what activities are available in your host |
| daytime, this is a main indicator of depression. | | | | city. Learn about all the places that offer adult |
| - When you're awake, you feel tired, and sluggish. | | | | continuing education classes. Ask your new contacts |
| You notice that even after a full night's sleep, you | | | | what activities or groups they are aware of that |
| just can't get yourself going. | | | | might interest you. |
| - You don't feel like leaving the house. You spend | | | | Consider volunteering. Find out what volunteer |
| most of your time at home, in front of the TV. You | | | | opportunities exist. This is not only a great way to |
| reject suggestions from loved ones. In fact, when | | | | meet new friends, but if you're also helping other |
| people make suggestions to you about things you | | | | people, it may be a source of enormous satisfaction |
| can do, or places you can go, you feel pushed and | | | | for you. |
| automatically say no. | | | | Join a community. Do a Google search. If you're |
| - You have no interest in doing anything. | | | | moving to San Francisco, research "Expats in San |
| - You have no desire to socialize or meet new | | | | Francisco" and see what you find. Facebook also |
| people. | | | | offers many Expat groups. If you join a group on |
| - The only happy moments you have are when you | | | | Facebook, you can also join forums that might be of |
| plan a trip to go back home, or talk to your friends | | | | help. |
| back home. The Expats and trailing spouses I've | | | | It's best to start all these ideas before you leave, |
| spoken to mention that when they became | | | | because then, when you arrive, you'll have a network |
| depressed, they didn't even realize it. They simply | | | | already started, so you don't have to feel like you're |
| thought they were very tired, and they felt annoyed | | | | at the beginning of this process. If you have already |
| by their spouse trying to push them off the couch. | | | | moved, though, then now is as good a time as any |
| At the same time, they felt like a burden on their | | | | to start. |
| spouse, because there was a sense that the spouse | | | | |