"Hey Waiter...There's God in My Soup!"

Learning Kabbalah Through HumorHe was granted a temporary permit for the project,
Creationbut had trouble complying with the Cease and Desist
Harry: What's green, hangs on the wall, and whistles?order. Appearing at the hearing, God was asked why
Stanley: I don't know. What's green, hangs onHe began the project in the first place. He replied
thewall, and whistles?that He just liked to be creative. Then God said, "Let
Harry: A herring.there be light." Officials immediately demanded to
Stanley: But... a herring Isn't green!know how the light would be made. Would there be
Harry: Nu, so you could paint it green.strip mining? What about thermal pollution? God
Stanley: But a herring doesn't hang on the wall!explained that the light would come from a huge ball
Harry: Nu, so you could hang it on the wall.of fire. He was granted provisional permission to
Stanley: But a herring doesn't whistle!make light, with the proviso that no smoke would
Harry: Ok, so it doesn't whistle.result from the ball of fire, that He would obtain a
God, the Creator of the universe, is limitless,building permit, and, to conserve energy, would have
formless, all-knowing and all present. Although Godthe light burning only half the time. God agreed and
has no specific gender, we refer to God as He,said He would call the light Day and the darkness
because that is how the neutral gender is rendered inNight. Officials replied that they were not interested
Hebrew, the language of the Torah. To reinforcein semantics. God said, "Let the earth sprout
God's genderlessness, there is a femi-nine aspect ofvegetation, seed-yielding herbs and fruit trees
God called Shechinah, which comes from the rootproducing fruit according to their kind." The EPA
word to dwell and denotes God's transcendentagreed as long as native seed was used. Then God
presence as it dwells in the physical world. God is,said, "Let the waters swarm a swarming of living
was and always will be. He is known as the Ein Sof -creatures, and let fowl fly over the earth, across the
Never-Ending One - and is also called, The Primaryexpanse of the Heaven." Officials pointed out that
Being. of the world according to Kabbalah, the bodythis would re-quire approval from the Department of
of Jewish mystical thought. In fact, God is all there is.Game. Everything was OK until God said he wanted
According to the famous kabbalist, Rabbi Menachemto complete the project in six days. Officials informed
Mendel of Lubavitch (the Tzemach Tzedek)Him it would take at least 200 years to review the
(1789-1866), it is only God's existence that has noapplication and the environmental impact statement.
beginning. All other existence, in contrast, isAfter that there would be a public hearing. Then it
comprised of new creations that did not existwould be 10-12 months before... At this point God
be-fore they were brought into being by Him. God iscreated Hell.
not time-bound; He alone existed, before time wasKabbalah speaks of four worlds: (1) Atzilut, (the
created. When He created the world, He also createdWorld of Emanation), is the highest world. It contains
time. To say that God has always existed would limitthe revealed potential for further creation. It
the expression of God, because always is an aspectpossesses no perceived existence independent of
of time. God exists independent of time, above theGod.
entire framework of chronology. Time is relevant only(2) Beriah, (the World of Creation), is the second
to created beings. I told you all that hoping youhighest. world. It holds the beginnings of creative
would ask what our herring joke has to do with God,potential, born of Atzilut, which begin to take on the
or even if it is a joke. Whether you think it's a jokeperception of form or independent existence. The
or not, if you delve into the words a little deeper,higher order of angels dwells in Beriah as do created
you will discover a parallel with how God created thesouls and the upper Garden of Eden, where certain
world, according to Kabbalah. God looked to seeprivileged souls journey as a reward for their
what He wanted to create, and then He created themeritorious conduct during their lifetime on earth. The
thing He desired from nothing, from no previousDivine Throne also resides in Beriah. It embodies the
existence. Just as Harry, the joke-teller above, couldconcept that the Divine begins to lower itself in order
set up his punch line any way he wanted whileto touch the lower worlds.
Stanley tried to poke holes in the logic of it, so too,(3) Yetzirah, (the World of Formation), is the third
God is not limited by a linear or logical way ofhighest world, where the blueprints are drawn up for
thinking. We may not understand God's ways, butfinal creation and where specific steps are taken to
that doesn't invali-date them. All it means is that webring them to fruition. The lower order of angels -
are limited in our ability to grasp. But in His greatthose with a specific mission - reside in Yetzirah, and
mercy and love for us, God patiently allows for andthe lower Garden of Eden abides here as well.
invites our questions.(4) Asiyah, (the World of Action), is the fourth world,
Benjy was asked by his mother what he had learnedthe world in which you and I live. In Asiyah, we
in Hebrew School. "Well, Mom, our teacher told uswitness the most convincing representation of
how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescueindependence from God. Sadly, this is because in
mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When heAsiyah we are the most removed from Him, and it is
got to the Red Sea he had his engineers build ahere where the dazzling radiance of God is the most
pontoon bridge, and all the people walked acrossconcealed. This total concealment gives rise to free
safely. Then he used his walkie-talkie to radiochoice, such that a person is permitted to choose
headquarters for reinforcements. They sent F-16s towhether or not he will serve God according to His will.
blow up the bridge and save the Israelites." "Now,Asiyah embodies the ultimate purpose of creation,
Benjy, is that really what your teacher taught you,"where God has provided us both the map and the
his mother questioned. "Well, no, Mom," said Benjy,guidebook so we can actualize that purpose: to make
"but if I told you what she really said, you'd neverour world an abode in which He will desire to dwell.
believe it."From free choice springs the notion of Evil and the
Can God fit an elephant through the eye of athreat of Hell.
needle? This is a famous riddle posed by the Talmud.According to Kabbalah, Evil was created from the
The answer is yes! But how? Would He make thesitra achra, the other side of God. In other words, it
elephant smaller? Would He make the eye of theoriginates from God, so it must have hidden elements
needle bigger? He would do neither. The elephantof Goodness, but not in the way you may think. Evil
would remain un-changed, as would the eye of theis a way that God tests humanity's actions. This is
needle. And under that exact set of circumstances,com-pared to a king who sends a temptress to
God would fit the elephant through the eye of theseduce his son, the prince. The temptress must
needle. If you say this makes no sense, you arefollow the king's orders and do everything in her
right, but having created that set of rules called logic,power to seduce the prince, all the while hoping that
the Master of the Universe is certainly entitled tothe prince will not succumb to her allure. So, too, Evil,
ignore them.in the form of our Evil Inclination, entices us with all
In the beginning, God created Heaven and Earth.sorts of worldly attractions, hoping that we will reject
Immediately God was faced with a class action suitthem.
for failure to file an environmental impact statement.