| p>Do you ever wonder what makes certain people | | | | morning office meeting and successfully bypassed |
| go on optimistically despite their lot in life, while | | | | the doughnuts sitting in the middle of the table. After |
| others engage in negative, defeatist attitudes (even | | | | the meeting, she went into the office kitchen to |
| though their situation is not really so horrible)? Several | | | | discover yet another dozen doughnuts! Not able to |
| months ago, I watched a television program of a | | | | resist the second time around, she picked one up and |
| woman who, at a very young age, had lost both of | | | | ate one-half doughnut. That's right, one-half of one |
| her arms. Her adult life was extraordinary despite her | | | | doughnut. |
| physical limitations. With a tremendous amount of | | | | At this point I am thinking, "Wow! What an |
| effort, she had learned to use her feet and toes as | | | | accomplishment." Yet, these were not her thoughts |
| hands. This amazing woman managed to write, fold | | | | at all. Instead, she went on to berate herself: "Why |
| laundry, teach an aerobics class, and even drive a | | | | was I so weak? I shouldn't have given in. Now that |
| van! And to top it off, she was happily married to an | | | | I've already ruined the day, it's no use staying on |
| attractive man, and had a son which she provided | | | | track." Optimistic determination or negative, defeatist |
| and cared for. She was an inspiration to all who were | | | | attitude? Do we have a choice? |
| graced by her presence. | | | | 2. Give Yourself Permission to Feel Good |
| Shortly thereafter, I watched another program | | | | Instead of beating yourself up each time you slip or |
| chronicling the life of a very large man. This man had | | | | fail to achieve your desires, celebrate each of the |
| been large from the moment he entered the world. | | | | many steps forward. Take a full minute or two and |
| He was a fat baby, a fat child, and a fatter young | | | | really be in the experience of your accomplishments. |
| adult. In school, he was teased unmercifully. His only | | | | Close your eyes and see what they looked like. |
| escape was his ability to play jazz. Life was not easy | | | | What did it sound like? What did it feel like? Look into |
| for this man. | | | | the mirror and tell yourself, and your body, how well |
| One day, he "woke-up." He realized his self-worth and | | | | you are doing throughout this change process. |
| found his place in this world. He began using his | | | | Support yourself in your efforts and allow yourself to |
| passion for jazz to teach music to junior high kids. | | | | feel good about re-committing to your desires. Ask |
| Imagine - teaching to children when they had once | | | | yourself if it feels good to feel good? Can you allow |
| tortured him! This man single handedly created magic | | | | yourself more experiences of feeling good? |
| in his classroom. He attracted many children who felt | | | | 3. Record Success |
| alone, isolated or outcast. He gave them confidence, | | | | Keep a daily journey of success. One of my clients |
| hope, and a place to feel secure. The children's faces | | | | decided to keep a daily "Triumph" list. Each day she |
| came to life as they talked to him. It was as if their | | | | acknowledged her goal and each effort and action |
| own spirit and passion flowed outward by the mere | | | | that she put into making her goal real. Her "Triumph" |
| contact with this phenomenal man. | | | | list was full of achievements and smiley faces. Having |
| Optimistic Determination Or Pessimistic Attitude | | | | this list made the challenges much easier to face |
| I began to think about my life and myself. Given the | | | | knowing they were balanced out with personal |
| same challenges, would I be that optimistic and | | | | strengths and accomplishments. |
| motivated? Would I be filled with enough self-love | | | | 4. Gratitude Paves the Road to Optimism |
| and self-worthiness to courageously go out into the | | | | Decide to begin a gratitude journal. At the end of |
| world with a sense of self-worth and pride? I also | | | | each day, simply list five things that you were |
| thought about the many clients I work with who | | | | grateful for and at least one successful action that |
| insist they are fat-and-ugly, unworthy, and not | | | | you accomplished that day. Your list could include |
| deserving. How do any of us move through our own | | | | anything and everything, big or small. Writing down |
| particular challenges and grasp the truth of how | | | | what you are grateful for helps shift your attention |
| wonderful we really are? | | | | from what is wrong with you and in your world to |
| Many people are ready to begin (or continue) the | | | | what is right. As you focus your attention in new |
| journey back to their authentic selves. They are | | | | directions, your sense of optimistic determination |
| more than eager to end the struggle of constant | | | | expands. |
| yo-yo dieting, addiction, loathing their bodies, and | | | | 5. Make Conscious Decisions |
| looking to food, drug, or alcohol as a way to feel | | | | Learn to fuel your life with optimism by making |
| better. They ache to live a meaningful and purposeful | | | | conscious decisions. Many of our decisions are made |
| life. Yet, a difficult challenge lies ahead. The journey | | | | on autopilot - we don't even notice ourselves making |
| toward recovery of self is often quite daunting. We | | | | them. By focusing intention on making conscious |
| have so far to go, and there is so much work to do. | | | | choices, you are able to move in the direction of |
| Sometimes we feel, "Why bother?" | | | | your joy and destiny. At first, decide to play a game |
| Clearly, we all possess the power of choosing our | | | | with yourself and make small choices often. For |
| attitudes and gaining a new sense of empowered | | | | example, "I will wear the red shoes today." Or, "I will |
| purpose. While it may take an enormous amount of | | | | eat two cookies at 7:30 PM." Be creative in your |
| work to become optimistically determined, it is within | | | | decisions and make them fun. Then, be sure to |
| the command of each person. Granted, it is not | | | | follow through with your decisions. If you told your |
| something that happens overnight. Given that many | | | | self you would eat two cookies at 7:30 PM, then |
| of us did not experience unconditional love and | | | | make sure you eat two. Not one, and not three, but |
| encouragement while growing up, it may be quite | | | | two at 7:30. This process of making conscious |
| difficult to overcome the (false) belief that something | | | | decisions helps you feel responsible for your own |
| is "wrong" with us. | | | | actions and raises your sense of confidence and |
| While things might be easier now if someone had | | | | optimism. By following through with your decisions, |
| nurtured those qualities of perseverance, joy, | | | | you develop greater trust in yourself. You become |
| patience, trust and love within us when we were | | | | empowered to make choices in every moment and |
| young, now that we are grown up, there is only one | | | | at every turn in life. Instead of letting things happen, |
| person left to absolutely support and encourage us. | | | | you can take control. You discover you have the |
| That person is you. You alone have the ability to look | | | | power to make changes in your life. |
| at yourself with love and decide to enjoy your life | | | | 6.Gain Confidence and Self-Worth |
| despite your perceived or real limitations. | | | | Take notice of the people around you who look |
| Nurturing Optimistic Determination | | | | confident. They may not always be the thinnest |
| Optimistic determination is a sense that your goals | | | | ones around, the prettiest, or even the richest. |
| and dreams will most likely turn out successful. It | | | | Confidence comes from within. You are as attractive |
| doesn't mean you won't run into challenges along | | | | as you feel - regardless of the size of your body or |
| your journey, but you have a belief that your | | | | your wallet. If you like yourself, your self-worth will |
| challenges have meaning and serve to make you | | | | come through and attract other people who like |
| stronger. Optimistic determination is your ability to | | | | themselves. The positive sense of self that a person |
| see the good even in the worst of situation. If you | | | | gives off is often more noticeable than physical body |
| are not currently a "glass half-full" type of person, | | | | shape. People in general are attracted to a positive |
| utilize these tips to gain optimism and give yourself a | | | | aura, a positive sense of self. Learn to be still and sit |
| new sense of impending success! | | | | with yourself. Accept your body exactly as it is. It's |
| 1. Supportive Self-Talk | | | | amazing what begins to happen when we stop hating |
| Often, we make your own journey more difficulty | | | | ourselves and begin to treat ourselves as the |
| than it already is by failing to provide ourselves with | | | | beautiful individuals that we already are. |
| supportive words of encouragement when we need | | | | No matter how pessimistic, hopeless, helpless, or |
| them most. We fail to acknowledge our efforts and | | | | depressed you may currently feel, you do have a |
| dismiss our many successes. Instead, we dwell on | | | | choice to improve your sense of optimism. Use these |
| perceived failures. For example, a woman I once | | | | five tips to help lift yourself up into the inspirational |
| worked with described how she had attended a | | | | and life-loving person you are meant to become! |