| It doesn't take long for you to recognize the signs of | | | | 2. Am I overstepping my boundaries? The stress you |
| stress on the faces of people you know... furrowed | | | | are experiencing might be the result of your attempt |
| brow, hollow eyes, perpetual scowl. It might be that | | | | to control people's thoughts and actions. You can't |
| you see some of those signs when you look in the | | | | really control what other people do; most of us can't |
| mirror. Stress, so it seems, often is worn like a badge | | | | control what we do! When you allow yourself to be |
| of honor as if only those who are stressed are | | | | adversely affected by the actions of others, you set |
| successful. This might come as a surprise, but it | | | | yourself up to be in a constant state of tension... |
| doesn't have to be that way! | | | | scowl and all! |
| Stress is defined as "a mentally or emotionally | | | | 3. What is one positive thing I can do in this situation? |
| disruptive or upsetting condition occurring in response | | | | Many times stress is followed by no plan of attack. If |
| to adverse external influences and capable of | | | | you are going to get worked up over something, |
| affecting physical health, usually characterized by | | | | then at least have in mind something you can do to |
| increased heart rate, a rise in blood pressure, | | | | make the situation better. If you're worried about |
| muscular tension, irritability, and depression." There | | | | your job security, then get your resume ready to be |
| are a few key terms that warrant further | | | | distributed. Action often minimizes or eliminates |
| investigation. | | | | stress, so have a plan! |
| Stress upsets you mentally or emotionally... both | | | | 4. How will this situation affect me in a week? a |
| functions of the mind. Stress gets in your head and | | | | month? a year? ten years? Today's big deals are |
| pulls those strings that are wound too tightly. Often | | | | tomorrow's distant memories. Do you remember the |
| the tight strings are attached to things over which | | | | agony you went through to select just the right |
| you have no control--getting a promotion, the | | | | outfit for your senior prom or other significant |
| weather, the outcome of a game, someone else's | | | | event? Now, as you look back, you probably realize |
| decisions, and so forth. In order to manage stress, | | | | you made a big deal out of something that really |
| you have to determine which things you have real | | | | wasn't a huge thing. You might not even remember |
| control over. Focus your energies on the things you | | | | what you decided to wear! Don't make everyday |
| can change and ignore those you can't. | | | | decisions into crises! Simplify the complicated, don't |
| Adverse external influences are those things that you | | | | complicate the simple! |
| wanted to go one way, but instead went another. It | | | | 5. How is my stress affecting those around me? |
| is easy to predetermine how things are going to go. | | | | Take a look at how you are affecting others? Do |
| You anticipate your boss will do one thing, but she | | | | your coworkers run when you come down the hall? |
| does something different. You plan a picnic for | | | | Are your emotional eruptions over insignificant things |
| Saturday, but it rains all day. Those external | | | | predictable? Do you feel your heart race when you |
| influences are beyond your control, but you base | | | | order a burger and you are asked if you want |
| your feelings on them anyway. | | | | cheese? Do you discover people go together for fun |
| Managing stress requires you to employ thinking skills | | | | AFTER the get-together is over? Apparently you are |
| that are uncommon in today's world. When you | | | | not the life of the party and people don't want to |
| encounter a stressful situation, ask yourself these | | | | import your stress. When your stress is negatively |
| questions: | | | | affecting others, it's time for you to get a grip! |
| 1. Can I control all or part of this situation? You might | | | | There are enough legitimately stressful situations; we |
| be getting all worked up over something you have | | | | probably don't need to artificially induce more stress. |
| no control or little control over. If you don't have any | | | | Save your stress for things that really matter over |
| control, then you need not think about the situation | | | | which you have some control... then you'll become |
| very much. If you have control, then look for ways | | | | more tolerable to the people around you! Think about |
| you can be a positive influence on the situation. | | | | it! |